Ranking the Pop Girlies of 2024

Pop music had a banger 2024. In particular, female pop stars had a moment: Chappell Roan and Sabrina Carpenter went from unknowns to superstars, Charli XCX finally had her big breakthrough, Taylor Swift cemented her world domination, and Billie Eilish also dropped an album. I want to share my thoughts.

I’ll be ranking them in terms of songs, album, fondness, and girliness. Note that these are ranks, not scores — someone has to get stuck with the one, and only a single performer can get the five. Girliness is defined strictly by age. I’m sure that will in no way immediately become incredibly uncomfortable.

Is calling them “pop girlies” dismissive and kinda sexist? Yeah. But I use the term with the utmost of love and respect. This is a terrible idea.

#5: Taylor Swift - The Tortured Poets Department

Taylor Swift’s ascendancy amuses me more than anything else. She’s made plenty of songs I love, like “Style” and “Anti-Hero”; songs I find unbearable, like “Bad Blood”; and songs so terrible that they’re actually kinda awesome (look what we made her do). But I don’t follow her or her music. I know the big, unavoidable hits, not the deep cuts (except “Cruel Summer”, which no longer counts).

That said, any list of the biggest female pop stars of 2024 must include Taylor. People will talk about seeing the Eras tour in the future like boomers talk about seeing the Beatles. Somehow she managed to find the time to put together an album full of new material. I haven’t listened to it yet.

I’m sorry, OK! I should give it a go sometime. I listened to Folklore and Evermore, her pandemic-era albums that the critics loved. They were fine. Midnights is my favourite of her albums so far. At some point, I expected, the big hits from The Tortured Poets Department would sledgehammer their way into my awareness. They didn’t.

Songs: 1
She had a song with Post Malone called “Fortnight”. Is it about the game? I hope not.¹

Album: 1
If she really wanted me to listen to it, then she shouldn’t’ve made it two hours long.

Fondness: 1
Taylor Swift’s fine. Experiencing the end of the Eras tour in Vancouver (even without attending a show) was really cool.

Girliness: 1
She turned 35 in 2024. There’s no way to justify referring to her as a “girlie”, even if my mental image of her will forever be from the “You Belong With Me” video.

Total: 4

#4: Billie Eilish - Hit Me Hard and Soft

Billie Eilish confuses me. I listened to her first album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (the one with “Bad Guy” on it), and I immediately got it — it was new, it was exciting, and I listened to it exactly once. I mostly slept on her second album, Happier Than Ever, except for the title track. When her third album came out, last year’s Hit Me Hard and Soft, I added it to a playlist and forced myself to give it a good listen.

It’s weird. I admire the quality and the craftsmanship, and I enjoy it when I listen to it. But I don’t love any of the songs. If Olivia Rodrigo had released an album in 2024, I might’ve put her on this list instead.

Songs: 2
“Birds of a Feather” and “Lunch” were justifiable hits.

Album: 2
It’s a good album — maybe a great album. But it leaves me a bit cold.

Fondness: 2
Billie was exciting in 2019. It’s getting easier to take her for granted.

Girliness: 5
Wait, she’s only 23? She’s the youngest on this list by far, and I’m talking about taking her for granted. Wow.

Total: 11

#3: Charli XCX - Brat

This list is garbage! How can I put Brat at anything but number one? Boo! Boo!

This hurts. Half the reason why I came up with this scoring system is to avoid having a three-way tie for number one, and it pains me to see Charli in the middle of this list. At 32, Charli is the second oldest in this list. Ageism is keeping her from #1. It’s the only explanation.

I’ve been a fan of Charli for ages. She co-wrote Icona Pop’s “I Love It”, and her demo vocals were so good that they kept them in.² Her hook for Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” might be the best part of that song. However, she’s always been in the background — her only big solo hit was “Boom Clap”, and that was a soundtrack song from 2014. For the longest time she was beloved by critics and hailed as the next big pop star, but it never materialized.

Until Brat Summer.

It’s funny. I listened to the album when it came out, and I told a friend that I didn’t understand all the praise — to me, it was just another (excellent) Charli album. I didn’t think it was especially different from Crash, her previous album, which she later called a sellout. Then I started paying more attention to the lyrics and it clicked: It’s a dance album about partying and having a good time, yes; but it’s also about her insecurities, questions about family, and whether her career is worth it. Brat starts and stops in the club, but it goes to some raw places in between.

She followed it up with a remix album, Brat and It’s Completely Different But It’s Still Brat. I like the original more, but it’s worth checking out.

Songs: 3
The biggest weakness of Brat is that the songs suffer outside the context of the album. Some of them charted, but none of them were big pop hits. That said, “Sympathy is a Knife” and “Von Dutch” are bangers, and “365” is the perfect closer. Keep bumping that.

Warning: The lyric videos all have extreme flashing lights.

Album: 5
It’s my favourite album of 2024.

Fondness: 4
I love Charli. I’m so happy she had such a great year.

Girliness: 2
She turned 32 last year. On the other hand, “Girl So Confusing” uses the word “girl” a tonne, so maybe she wouldn’t be bothered being called a pop girlie. I dunno.

Total: 14

#2: Sabrina Carpenter - Short n’ Sweet

I didn’t know this until writing this post, but Sabrina Carpenter has been around for years. She’s only 25, but Short n’ Sweet is her sixth (!) studio album. Naturally, she’s up for Best New Artist at the Grammies this year.

It makes sense, though. Her buzz started building in 2023 with “Nonsense”, which is a pop song so good she had to jump the octave. She launched her new album with the single “Espresso”, and it spent most of the rest of the year in the top ten. She finished the year with a Netflix Christmas special, and even though it was kind of terrible, she oozed charm and charisma.

She came on my radar with “Espresso”, of course. It’s so immaculate and perfect that it should be off-putting, but she has so much fun with it. Somehow she makes nonsense lines like “I know I Mountain Dew’d it for ya” work. It’s the song of the summer.

Songs: 4
“Espresso” is great. “Please Please Please” has the best key change of the year. “Taste” is a bop, and “Juno” is a jam. Am I using those words correctly?

Album: 4
It’s a shockingly good album. I even think the country track works. And it’s only 36 minutes!³

Fondness: 3
She doesn’t need my support, but I’m rooting for her.

Girliness: 4
If I were going by appearance or style instead of age, Sabrina would win this category easily.

Total: 15

#1: Chappell Roan - The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess

Chappell Roan is much closer to an overnight success than Sabrina Carpenter. She’s been making music for years, but her early EP and singles didn’t get much attention, and her label dropped her in 2020. She found another label and released her debut album, 2023’s The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess. In 2024, she released a new song, “Good Luck, Babe!”, and finally her fortune started to turn: That song entered the Billboard Hot 100, and her older songs started picking up steam. By fall, she was performing on SNL, and winning Best New Artist at MTV’s VMAs.

My introduction to Chappell was a little weird. Every year the Slate Culture Gabfest has an episode devoted to “the summer strut”: their search for songs suitable for strutting down the street in the summertime. One of their listeners submitted “Femininomenon”; they added her to their shortlist; and I added their shortlist to my “Summer 2023” playlist. I was into her a year before she was cool.

Except not really. When her buzz picked up in 2024, I had no idea who she was. When I finally listened to her album, I was surprized to realize she’d recorded that one catchy song with a ridiculous name. I don’t think I really got into her until “Pink Pony Club” got its hooks into me.

Now I’m a fan. Her songs are amazing. Her story is incredible. She’s the best pop girlie of 2024.

Songs: 5
“Pink Pony Club” is the best pop song from 2020; it just took the world several years to catch on. (I’m a big fan of the live version on SNL. The bard core version is also great.) “Good Luck, Babe!” and “Hot To Go” are fun. “My Kink is Karma” is a solid Taylor Swift song.

Album: 3
I love the songs, but I don’t think it’s the strongest album. Also, technically, it came out back in 2023.

Fondness: 5
She’s the success story of the year.

Girliness: 3
… Yeah, this metric is foolish. I feel really silly about it now.

Total: 16

Summary of rankings

Behold, the table that prevents this page from rendering nicely on my phone!

Performer	Songs	Album	Fondness	Girliness	Total
Billie Eilish	2	2	2	5	11
Chappell Roan	5	3	5	3	16
Charli XCX	3	5	4	2	14
Sabrina Carpenter	4	4	3	4	15
Taylor Swift	1	1	1	1	4